


notes

by nemju



Series: kissing prompts [3]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, back on my bs this is in lapslock, jaehwan writes a list on his phone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 04:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14441796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nemju/pseuds/nemju
Summary: unlock phone. home. notes. compose new note.5 easy steps to ruin your relationship with your best friend by lee jaehwan (highly effective)10:56PM





	notes

**Author's Note:**

> #3: whispered confessions in between kisses  
> \- roll friends and benefits into balls  
> \- coat generously with feelings  
> \- deep fry for 8 minutes

**5 easy steps to ruin your relationship with your best friend by lee jaehwan (highly effective)**

step #1: get drunk and fuck.

step one and we’re starting off strong here, ladies and gentlemen. that one night was really the start to everything. we live together, you know, it was a literal dream from when we were 10, but now that it’s turned reality many years later, it isn’t as glamorous as we imagined. we have a shitty little apartment in the middle of some trash-ridden street, but it’s just above where i work and a half hour from his campus, so we settle. in hindsight everything wouldn’t have happened if sanghyuk wasn’t so cold-blooded and the kind to turn the heater up to the mimic satan’s ass crack. i’m always sweating my butt off in here but that one night it got so unbearable, i took my shirt off and for some god forsaken reason so did he. it got awkward so i suggested drinks and a cleared out supply of alcohol later we were rolling around on the floor, sucking the breath out of each other. it was gross and wet and tasted disgusting but i let it continue because somehow it just felt right. i’ll have you know that he’s a phenomenal kisser and smells so fucking good up close i was content enough with stopping there but then he reached for my boxers and looked at me with those eyes and yeah. it was even more amazing than imagined but i digress.

step #2: have stupid feelings for them.

i guess maybe this step comes first but fuck it, like everything else, i didn’t think this through. it's not my fault, since sanghyuk’s the one with the dumb jokes and strong arms and unrestrained frankness and sharp wit and i still have zero clue as to how the entire world’s not in love with him too. it’s been this way since we were, i dunno, seventeen? that one day when we went to the ice rinks and i fell and he grabbed me by the armpits and hoisted me up and i was shocked because he looked all big and kind with all the concern in his eyes and it’s like the entire universe became brighter and happier after that, if that even makes sense. it’s weird watching someone grow up with you in front of your eyes to have one day where your mind and body just goes ‘yeah, i want them’ and suddenly you’re in love. i think. saying i’m ‘in love' is too much even for me because it makes it sound serious and strange but i’m thinking it’s the right way to put how i feel when i would stay up late thinking about how i would do actually anything for him for literally no reason other than to make him happy. ugh. and past me thought it was hard to hold back when sanghyuk would bring all those people home. just wait till he reads the next step.

step #3: not tell them any of that and still continue as really close best friends.

really close, if you get my drift. i try not to think about this period of my life anymore for the sake of my sanity. i have no clue if that night triggered some need to get a nut out every 3 hours, but we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other. on top of being everything i ever need, dude straight up fucks like a charm, how was i supposed to resist? when i come home, when we wake up, after showers, night after night. it sometimes happened outside, bathrooms in the mall, in sanghyuk’s dingy rental. one day when we crashed in my bed, he managed to find my, ahem, toys and with those incorporated it opened up a whole new world to explore. it’s shameful to admit but some things we tried i’m pretty sure the human body was not meant to do, there’s a reason why i can’t touch the kitchen utensils anymore. i would be lying if i said i don’t miss it now, because it was good, way too good. i felt like i was working a double agent job where the two clients were sanghyuk and my literal feelings. on one hand, i was having the time of my life, getting kissed and held and plowed by the most wonderful dude on the planet every single day, but on the other, i was dying from having to hold all this bubbling hot mush inside me and prevent it from spilling out and getting him burnt too. that’s how we move on to the next step.

step #4: accidentally blurt out that you love them in the middle of sex.

yeah. honestly this only works if you have a weak sense of brain-mouth coordination, so you should just give up now if you’re good at keeping your mouth shut. i don’t really know what happened but the urge to kiss him during non-sex was like a demon constantly knocking at my door saying ‘hey, it’s a good idea, do it’ and i have to physically walk out of the room to get it to stop talking. it got so bad where it would even show up at the worst times, taunting me to take it slower with gentle hands, and want me to bring him close and tell him everything. i guess it finally snapped and let itself in after three whole months of this bullshit because when sanghyuk flipped me around like it was nothing and brushed my hair away with those pretty fingers of his, i heard someone fucking pant out a ‘i love you’ and i swear on my entire figurine collection that i was not the one who commissioned my mouth to say that but guess what? it did anyway. i wasn’t sure if he heard it in the moment but my suspicions were confirmed the next day went i woke up to an empty bed and no response to my texts after. he hasn’t talked to me since then, and i haven’t continued talking to him. i wonder how much longer we're gonna keep this up. my toes hurt from all the tiptoeing we’re doing around each other to make sure we don’t allow even single moment for us to meet face to face. both of us are cowards, but what do you expect with best friends, we’re the same person leading different lives. god i miss him. there's no one else to have late night talks and dumb video game sessions and attempting-to-cook-till-we-give-up-and-order-takeout dinners with. not to mention having to revert back to my own hands after months of that…is sadly dissatisfactory.

step #5: hide in your room and never talk to them for the rest of your life.

this is by far the easiest step, it’s one i’ve been doing for the past few days and also what i’m doing right now. ugh, i hear him outside, the TV blaring some noises of a variety show, the rumble of the microwave from him heating up his dinner. if we go according to schedule, he should be heading back to his room soon to scarf down his food and that’s when i will finally be let out to grab my own. hopefully there’s still some slices of bread left. peanut butter sandwiches sound good. god, i’m starving, i wish he would hurry up. wait, i hear the tv being switched off, good. i’ll have to go soon, what. his footsteps aren’t moving away, where is he going? oh my god, shit, he’s knocking on my door shit shit shit.  
he 'wants to talk'.  
fuck me.

_exit. lock phone._

**Author's Note:**

> you may be asking ‘umm so where’s the kiss???’  
> ;^) the fic itself may have finished but the story hasn’t
> 
> also this got out of hand and turned into a first person pov against my will dhjajdkakj sorry
> 
> ♡


End file.
